As a divorcee, whose husband had an affair, and now as a happily married divorce lawyer, I have a unique vantage point on how to move on.
- Make sure the divorce is done, you can’t really open your heart to a successful relationship until you have ended your last chapter. Forgive, end contact with ex, and put your marriage in the rear view mirror.
- Flip your perspective–Stop beating yourself up about why your marriage ended. Change divorce into a tool to make better decisions. Having been through a marriage, you know the fundamentals that are needed and what you want in a spouse and are stronger. Just today a former client reached out to me on breaking up with her new boyfriend who had an addictive personality similar to her ex-husband. She said I now know “love is not enough.”
- Joy will be there when you fill your life with it. If you want to fly fish, or join a theater group, just do it. You never know what adventure will open up new doors and be the opportunity to meet your next partner. I crazily went across the country doing obstacle course racing, and met my husband because I was open for new experiences.
- Go get a makeover and new clothes. If you feel fabulous, you will have more confidence to move on. Take time for yourself at the gym, yoga or don’t.
- When all else fails, read Eat Pray Love, drink wine and dance to music alone (yes all things I did post-divorce).
- Have faith that you will be in a happy, healthy relationship: you will. How do I know? All of my former clients get happily remarried; even though they always say they never will. Going to their weddings is my favorite, it makes me wholly understand the circle of divorce and love.
Attorney Amy Saunders, Esq.
858 Washington Street Suite 103
Dedham, MA 02026